holy shit!

2008 was a bastard of a year for me, but with bad comes good and at least I can say that I really learned what I was made of in 2008.. it began with a monumental heartbreak. The man that I was with for almost 3 years and in love with… DEEPLY in love with broke up with me when I moved from ....Atlanta.... to ....Cleveland.... I was floored and spent all of 2008 fighting to get over it..it was really hard because I couldn’t see anything bad in him he was pretty much perfect I even loved his flaws (corny but true) at first I was a straight zombie I woke up, cried dressed cried drove to work crying.. I couldn’t concentrate at work and had to face prejustice ppl while there..lunch I would sit in my car and call him and cry then I would drive home crying and when I got home I didn’t eat, I didn’t clean, I didn’t do anything really, I slept on the floor for months.. I guess the good thing is that my bank account was PHAT because I never bought anything lol.. but it was crazy .. I finally graduated and got my dream job, and I couldn’t enjoy it because my dream man didn’t want me..and I couldn’t understand why! I flew to ....Atlanta.... to see him and when we were together it was like normal..like we were in love again.. I thought that maybe he thought I was going to leave and change and I wanted him to see that I was still Aletha, still the woman that loved him.. but when I left I went back to crying because he still didn’t want me.. he came to visit me a few months later and we drove to see my parents in ....Cincinnati......in the car he told me he didn’t love me anymore and I was broken..he acted like he loved me but what he was saying was totally different.. I was confused and torn.. eventually, after several attempts to get him out of my system I totally cut him loose.. I prayed for him to be happy and for me to accept whatever will become of our relationship..i still thought about him often but I was determined not to contact him…it wasn’t hard because he didn’t contact me at all.. 2008 came to a end and I decided that I would send him a email.. besides I had been a good girl he was still the last person I had sex with and I hadn’t dated anyone since… it was a friendly “ just checking to see if you are alive” email and he replied that he was engaged…I wailed for about 2 hours to my mother..i am sure my windows were rattleing. It was truly a “holy shit” moment… so that evening after being depressed all damn day I checked his email to figure out who he was engaged to.. come to find out it was a young lady he introduced me to.. I read emails where he talked about how in love he was and happy he is with her.. ironically it made me feel better to know that he was happy.. I always want him to be happy… but when I found out he was dating her a month before he broke up with me.. basically a few weeks after I left Atlanta...., I was floored.. I would of never thought that he would do that and here I am no sex not even a boyfriend and he is engaged! I was a victim of a serial monognomist, someone who is in relationship after relationship with no in between… Lol… well it was a blessing because it made it that much easier for me to totally let him go..i don’t hate him.. I want him to be happy..and if he is happy I am happy for him..but if that woman hurts him I will whoop her ass lol.. that’s my 2008 lol



The best part of 2008 was that I was surrounded with people who became my friends who I totally love to death.. I would of never been reunited with my highschool friend if I didn’t move to Cleveland she was really one of the reasons I could smile… my other coworker turned friend kept me sane in 2008 she was and is a safe haven for me to hide away when I feel like crap.. and when I feel like crap these 2 friends are the realist you can get hands down the best part of 2008 is them and the fact that I could visit my parents anytime because I was only 5 hours away. 2008 beat me to a pulp but I came out alive and what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.. and I am stronger.. I may be scar ed but im happy now and ive vowed to do something that will make me happy everyday in 2009.. getting this off my chest made me happy today I am still great and I will be okay!