So. yesterday was a interesting one. my ex "boyfriend" came into town from califorina to visit his cousin and stopped by to see me ookkaaayyyy so i tell me boyfriend and he is like okay cool. so i go to hang out with him the whole day i found myself thanking God i have a good boyfriend.. i mena the ex was crazy! we went to get pizza and he is about to go off cuz its taking too long.. they HAVE to make the pizza first... gosh then we go into this store and as soon as he walks in he is cursing all over the place.. embarassing!!! so then we go to atlantic station and knocks the arm off a manequin!! so as he is fixing the arm a aldy walks out the store and the alarm goes off so this boy yells out " AWW someone stealin!!!" can yall believe this? and he had the nerve to try to be all over me... anyways needless to say i ended that night with a headache.
So the semester is in full swing and i am somewhere in between. classes are a killer and i am crazy busy! right now i am missing a class because the teacher doesnt let students in late... so ill just save the embarassment and go to his office later. this semester is alot like the other ones.. i am usually just lost inthe begining of the semester but by time the tests come arround i am on it. It is finally FRIDAY and i must say the week had a rocky start with presenataions and quizzes, friends and realtionships but all we can do is close out eyes and push through the fog till its all clear again.
what is the difference between a friendship and a realtionship? i am slowly realizing it is just about the same thing. about a year or 2 ago a friend went off on me for being too busy. she said i never call and we never hang out. a friend of mine and her boyfriend broke up because he says she is too busy to spend time. eariler this week it happened again.. i came across a blog where my best friend basically went off about me not being there for her in her time of need. My roomate is complaining that she doesnt see me but once a week if that. Kurt isnt trippin, but thats because we are both crazy busy.. What is going on here?? i must be missing something important cuz the walls around me are crumbling to the ground. since the year started ive been a bad roomate, friend, girlfriend, student... all around me there is pressure to be perfect and i am about to explode! im not superwoman! (but if i was i would like the have the ability to read minds). for a year noone has ever called to just say hi, noone has calls to see how classes are going but i dont expect them to cuz i just figured that everyone is doing their thang. a friend called me over the summer just to ask about her ex boyfriend and then she was gone. i get alot of calls where ppl unload on me and go. i dont mind, but can i tell you about my day? maybe thats why my blogs are so long.
I unloaded on my mother a while ago about when i bursted out in tears because a cat i pillar fell on me.. it wasnt just the bug but everything that semester. i didnt have anyone to tell my problems to because everyone thinks everything is spring flowers on my side so when i start to tell someone my problems i get the classic " You will be okay girl.. your stronger than me.. at least you have a boyfriend... at least you have a father... at least you have a blah blah." or i get the " Gurllll you need to leave him!!!. Humph!" i was tired of all the negativity so i shut down. no phone calls, no going out, i stop going to all my meetings (sorry yall). for a year i was under a rock and the only ppl that could get to me was my mother and kurt because they listened to me without judgement and without comment.
ON A LIGHTER NOTE!!!!!!!!!!!
....oops there isnt one.
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